Indy or Junior?

Near the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy faces three obstacles to get to the Holy Grail. The second one is "The Word of God", which turns out to be directions to step on specially marked out stones to spell out Jehovah. Step on the wrong one (In Latin, Jehovah begins with an 'I'!), and you plunge to your death.

This week God showed me this is how I believe I should follow Him. I should carefully analyze all the clues that I get. Then slowly, carefully, I step in exactly the right place. I must be perfect, or else I will step outside of God's will and plunge to my doom (of failure, embarrassment, or the Father's disappointment).

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
-- Luke 18:16-17

How do little children follow someone? How do they greet someone? How do they approach someone unhindered? Not with cautious and sequenced steps. No, they come like my 2-year-old comes to me. She runs full speed and doesn't slow until she slams into me. At her height, this poses some danger to me, but it's still a joy to be greeted with such unbridled excitement.

I know now I should come to God in the same manner. When I see where He is and where He's working, I should run headlong to Him. No pauses. No hesitations. Just do my best to barrel him over. And do you know what the amazing part of this whole thing is? The stones hiding the trap still exist, but my God knows me so well--how I run and exactly where I will step--that if I sprint to Him, my footfalls will land on solid ground with each and every step.

Compound Guilt

In every financial investment class, they teach on the principle of compound interest. The way you make money over time is not by having your initial deposit earn interest, but having your interest earn interest.

I've been finding myself in a similar spot over the past few weeks, except it's been my guilt that's been earning interest. I set a goal in July to blog every other day, then proceeded to blog twice during the whole month. But once I had gone a week, I found it much harder to write than before. I was not only facing laziness and atrophy (i.e. I'm out of practice), but also the guilt of not having written for a while. As the days went, it was harder and harder to start, and the guilt piled on. "Aren't I supposed to be a writer? Didn't I get this goal of blogging from my time with God?" I asked myself. "Then why aren't I carving out the time, sitting down, and typing out words for His glory?"

This month, though, I've been reading God is Closer Than You Think by John Ortberg, and one of the points he makes is that when you fail, you can start over immediately. God doesn't hold it over your head and keep laying on the guilt; that's the work of the Enemy. God's only desire is to get you back on track, following Him; once you've turned back, there is no more lingering guilt. If you ask Him about the guilt, He'll respond: "No, we're cool." (I'm sure that's in some modern translation.)

So, here I go diving back into blogging. I'm back to my goal of once a week, but more if I'm so inspired by a post. I don't know if there are any readers still lingering around (other than my ever-faithful wife), but I'm so grateful God sticks around to listen to every word I write or say.

A Desert Plant in Suburbia

Then God said to Jonah, "What right do you have to get angry about this shade tree?"

Jonah said, "Plenty of right. It's made me angry enough to die!"

God said, "What's this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night.
-- Jonah 4:9-11 (The Message)

I was reading through Jonah this morning, and got God's holy 2x4 of conviction smacked across the back of my skull. I've had that uncomfortable sensation before, but this time it felt like a shade tree from the deserts of Assyria.

Here I sit in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., in one of the richest counties in arguably the richest nation in the world. I'm a computer programmer for a defense contractor. I have a beautiful, intelligent, and loving wife, and an adorable, fun daughter. A nice comfortable house, two cars, and more old electronics equipment than I'd care to admit.

And time after time I find myself in grumbling mode. Grumbling to God that something isn't the way I want it. Termites crawling around out back. Grumble. Daughter gets a cold. Grumble. Two-hour meeting. Grumble. Then God gives me perspective.

A blog entry: Great Ways to Become Poor and Stay Poor, Item #8 : Be born in the third world.
A news article: Swat Refugees Facing Dire Hardships. Pakistani civilians are being severely affected by the war on terror.

There is no running water, no electricity, and food is scarce. There is no fuel left for generators and most medical facilities in the district are no longer functioning.

I must ask myself. What did I do to be born in the U.S.? To be raised in northern Virginia? I'm worried about inconveniences when there are millions in real need.

God, thank you for the blessings you have given me, from your grace alone. I deserve none of this. Thank you more so for humbling me. Carve out that grumbling heart and mind of mine and replace it with one of gratitude, and generosity.

God-gazing

I've been struggling for a while in my connection with God. It seems like He's distant, uncommunicative, and frankly boring. But I was challenged today with changing that, mainly by truly seeking God, not simply asking for stuff. I spent time rolling that around in my head, practicing the points of the message on the message itself. (Is that some sort of meta-devotional?) After some time of mentally chewing on it, God showed me the similarities between seeking after Him and one of my other favorite activities: stargazing. Like the universe, I know God is immensely complex and interesting, so it's similar to my going outside and seeing just a few stars. Here are the pointers on what's necessary to get the most out of the heavens, which will hopefully help get the most out of Heaven:

• Go outside. What a no-brainer for stargazing, but how often do I complain about my lack of intimacy with God when all-the-while I'm not even giving him a second thought. I need to put myself in a place where it's possible to see God.
• Get away. For those who have lived their lives in cities or brightly lit suburbs, counting the stars in the sky seems like a pretty trivial task. Get out where it's dark and you'll see the thousands you're missing (hundreds of thousands if you count the Milky Way band). It's also tough to see God when there's so much else going on drowning him out. Riches, worries and pleasures (Luke 8:14) and the busyness of life and our thoughts keep us from seeing more than a shallow view of God.
• Allow time to adjust. If you go outside from a bright room, you'll see very little at first; you have to wait for your eyes to adjust and gain your night vision before you can see the faint objects. We need time for our souls to adjust as well, to get all the distractions out of us before we can see God clearly and deeply.
• Use quality equipment. Your eyes can see a lot on a dark night, but adding even a low-powered telescope can add so much more. Moons of Jupiter, rings of Saturn, phases of Venus, shadows on the Moon, and even some of the brighter nebulae and galaxies are visible with just a little help. So too should we lean on the Bible, commentaries, devotionals, and the like to see deeper.
• Clean the lens. If your lens is foggy or dusty, then there is no option but to see blurry and faded images. If your soul is dirtied with unconfessed sin, you can't see God for who He truly is. Get it clean, ASAP.
• Focus. The analogy has already been made. You must focus a telescope before you can see through it. Mentally focusing on God is also necessary before you can see His glory.
  
• Use long exposure times. Some objects are just too dim to see with what the eye can absorb. Setting a camera with an exposure time of minutes will take in enough light to make that object visible. Just remember that the camera must "follow" the object, to account for the Earth's rotation. Similarly, we must take the time to sit and absorb what God is telling us. A quick snapshot will often leave us in the dark. And God often wants to take us on a journey (He did that with me today), so be patient and follow Him.
• Get a good guide. A lot of space is just that: space. You point a telescope at it and see black. Or maybe a few stars that are no different than those you can see on your own. Being able to have a guide (a person or book) that tells you exactly where the interesting stuff is and how to find it. When seeking God, our Guide needs to be the Holy Spirit. Invite him to guide you in your time.
• Be prepared for uncomfortable times. Clear skies bring cold weather. Some celestial objects don't rise until quite late. If you want to see them, you need to get uncomfortable. There are times as well where God will want to show you something at an inconvenient time, in an inconvenient way. Set aside your discomfort and your own plans and turn to Him; let Him show you something wonderful.
  
• Accept that some days are cloudy. You may have everything planned out. You may be completely prepared. You show up and see nothing, because it's all gray. You did nothing wrong. God sometimes makes my time with Him cloudy. I'm truly seeking after Him, and I get nothing in return. But just as the heavens are still stunning and majestic, God is still awesome and beautiful. And there will be a clear day coming. Wait for it. Hunger for it.

My telescope is packed away in my daughter's closet. I haven't broken it out in a couple years because it seems like it's always too much of a hassle. I can't let that be the case with my seeking after God. Our corner of the universe may not be worth the time and effort to explore, but the One who created it all with His thoughts sure is.

Two Words that Blow My Mind

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God... The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide. He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long.
-- Revelation 21:2, 16

Such a wonderful vision of hope--God replacing our decaying world with a new one--followed by a description of the city, complete with measurements. (As a side note, anyone know why God gives us the measurements of things seen in visions? I don't think we're going to re-construct this, and I'm pretty sure we'll know it when we see it. "Wait, no, this one's only 10,000 stadia... can't be the Holy City.")

In this passage, however, I am more struck with awe than hope. And simply because of two words. But before getting to those words, I want to discuss the rest of the passage. First, it helps to understand that 12,000 stadia is equivalent to 1,400 miles. So, when God is describing a city laid out like a square 1,400 miles on a side, he's talking about something this size:
That's Fargo, ND in the upper-left, Miami, FL at the bottom, and Maine & Quebec in the upper-right. And God is describing this all as one big city.

But that's not the kicker for me. It's the two small words: "and high". Yes, those two words say that God's city is 1,400 miles TALL as well. It's one HUGE cube. To give some perspective, Mt. Everest is 5.5 miles high (from sea level). The space station orbits at an altitude of 217 miles. 1,400 miles is insanely high. And assuming John did not document the first declaration of airspace, these are some LARGE buildings.

Looking at it a different way. Say we peeled the entire earth like a giant orange, with the peel consisting of everything between the height of Everest (5.5 mi) and the lowest point on Earth, the Marianas Trench (6.8 mi below sea level). We then take this "peel" and stack it up inside this cube. We'd run out of "peel" with another 170 miles of space to go.

Or a geekier way to look at it: The Death Star was a sphere only 100 miles in diameter.

I'll tell you one thing: that's no moon!

Week in Review - Lifehacks

For those unfamiliar with the term, a "lifehack" is something that helps make your daily life run more smoothly, efficiently, or purposefully. While I believe Jesus is the only necessary lifehack, I come across some tips that help me pull out the weeds that choke out the full life He offers. Other ones make me re-examine what it really means to be on purpose. Here are a few from the past week or so:

Finding Purpose: The story of college students choosing "fill the requirement" over "learn something" in his class really hit hard. How many times am I doing tasks because I'm required to do them? I find myself just waiting for the task to be over, that if I could fast-forward through this part of my life, I would. Yet, each moment is a gift from God, and God works all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to His purpose. I need to use each moment, whether it be for developing character, resting, or relying on His grace.

How to Ditch Meekness and Walk Tall: Well, this one pushed some buttons with the title alone. Jesus said that the meek are blessed, so I don't thing being blessed should be ditched. The key passage, however, is:

The root of meekness is low self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we respond to the challenges of life with doubts and fears.

Jesus may like meekness, but certainly not doubts (James 1:5-6) and fears (2 Tim 1:7). The resolution is simple enough: first, focus on God's esteem of you, not your self-esteem. Second, out of the strength of character He gives you, choose to be meek. That seems to be the model Jesus gave to us. Instead of ditching meekness and walking tall, we are commanded to die to self and carry our cross.

Why I'm Trying to Become a Quitter: The idea is once you realize something isn't valuable, cut your losses by quitting. Don't see it through just to be able to claim you've finished it. For me, there have been many times I've needed to quit a devotional or spiritual discipline because it was no longer bringing me closer to God; it had devolved into a habit that would allow me to check the "time with God" box.

Prayer is a Card from a One-Year Old

For Valentine's Day, my wife and I each received a wonderful card from our daughter. It was something we each treasured and enjoyed. Later that month, she accidentally hit my wife in the nose; the next time she saw her, my daughter gave her a piece of paper with a flower and a message saying "Katie Loves Mommy." Did I mention that our daughter is only 20 months old?

Looking at the whole thing objectively, we know that our daughter did very little to contribute in each of these cases. We each picked out and bought the cards, and we were the ones that sealed them in envelopes. We even directed her to "sign" each card, and to give the card to the other. Similarly, I wrote the message and drew the flower, and then directed her to give the paper to Mommy. Still, we acted as though Katie was the one making the effort.

It strikes me how much that mirrors our prayer life. God acts as though we're the ones really moving mountains, but how much of the effort is really ours?

• Who prompts us to pray?
• Who guides us how to pray?
• Who gives us the right heart to pray?
• Who listens to us?
• Who reconciled us to give us the right to be heard in the first place?
• Who answers the prayer?

God is certainly doing the heavy lifting in prayer, yet he rejoices when we pray. He makes the point over and over again for us to pray. Our prayers are like fragrant incense to him. But why is that, if he's doing all the work? What do we add to the mix?

We carry the card to Mommy.

Once Upon a Time

We're all living a fairy tale life. Unfortunately for most of us, it's still early in the story. We're not home with our true family, but stuck with the evil stepmom. Day after day we spend in rags, being abused left and right. Deep down we know something's not right, but we accept it because we've known nothing else.

We're all living a fairy tale life. The prince has already met us and fallen head over heels in love. One day -- maybe even today -- he'll show up on our doorstep with a promise of a better life: our "happily ever after". And the best part is the only marriage qualification we need is to believe him enough to extend our foot and let him slip on that glass shoe.

We're all living a fairy tale life, but somehow it became fractured. In some versions, Cinderella doesn't think there's a prince at the door, that the slipper won't fit, or worst of all, that the life the prince offers is not the life for her. For others -- myself included -- the shoe fits and the wedding bells have rung, but we've gone off course before our "happily ever after". This Cinderella turns down the beautiful clothes for the more familiar rags; she turns down the castle and wants the prince to move in with her step-family.

We're all living a fairy tale life, and even the youngest girl knows this isn't how it's supposed to end. Won't we listen to the prince calling out for us:

You brag, 'I'm rich, I've got it made, I need nothing from anyone,' oblivious that in fact you're a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless. -- Rev 3:17

Buy your clothes from me, clothes designed in Heaven. You've gone around half-naked long enough. -- Rev 3:18

Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. -- Rev 3:20

You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. -- Col 3:9-10

The Marriage of the Lamb has come; his Wife has made herself ready. She was given a bridal gown of bright and shining linen. -- Rev 19:8

I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. -- John 15:9

Right World, Wrong View

Why is it that I spend so much of my time doing nothing of worth, and so little actually accomplishing something, especially something for his Kingdom? Maybe this is what's missing:

Jesus entered the city of Jerusalem, walked into the temple area, and thoroughly looked all around contemplating what He already knew. He observed all the facts before Him.

As Jesus looked about Him, He measured everything by divine standards. He saw everything through the eyes of God. He never looked at anything through the eyes of the world system’s convenience or selfishness.

Sometimes I'm miserly with my spending; sometimes I'm lusting over a nice large LCD TV. Sometimes I feel like I'm drifting through life; other times I'm all about goal-setting and vision casting. The problem is that both sides of it are wrong if I'm not measuring things by the divine standard.

See, Jesus lays it out time and time again; we've got it all backwards down here. It's like we're playing a sport and trying to get as high of a score as possible. And He keeps trying to let us know we're playing golf. It reminds me of one of my favorite Matthew West songs (My Finest Hour):

The king of contradictions strikes again
You said the last to cross the finish line will win
And the beggars will be millionaires someday
And the humble ones are gonna have their say