Saturday, August 22, 2009

Compound Guilt

In every financial investment class, they teach on the principle of compound interest. The way you make money over time is not by having your initial deposit earn interest, but having your interest earn interest.

I've been finding myself in a similar spot over the past few weeks, except it's been my guilt that's been earning interest. I set a goal in July to blog every other day, then proceeded to blog twice during the whole month. But once I had gone a week, I found it much harder to write than before. I was not only facing laziness and atrophy (i.e. I'm out of practice), but also the guilt of not having written for a while. As the days went, it was harder and harder to start, and the guilt piled on. "Aren't I supposed to be a writer? Didn't I get this goal of blogging from my time with God?" I asked myself. "Then why aren't I carving out the time, sitting down, and typing out words for His glory?"

This month, though, I've been reading God is Closer Than You Think by John Ortberg, and one of the points he makes is that when you fail, you can start over immediately. God doesn't hold it over your head and keep laying on the guilt; that's the work of the Enemy. God's only desire is to get you back on track, following Him; once you've turned back, there is no more lingering guilt. If you ask Him about the guilt, He'll respond: "No, we're cool." (I'm sure that's in some modern translation.)

So, here I go diving back into blogging. I'm back to my goal of once a week, but more if I'm so inspired by a post. I don't know if there are any readers still lingering around (other than my ever-faithful wife), but I'm so grateful God sticks around to listen to every word I write or say.

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